Indiana Football officially has a mascot. After 56 years of wandering the cornfields without one, Hoosier the Bison is back. Last seen in 1969, and now resurrected like some kind of furry Lazarus, the Bison parachuted into Memorial Stadium before kickoff like he was starring in Mission Impossible. Unreal. If you’re scoring at home, that’s already 1–0 Hoosiers before the game even started. Hats off to the athletic department.
But, then the football started.
Old Dominion took their first play to the house, and I swear to God, I had the same Vietnam flashback to Devin Hester in the Super Bowl against the Colts. Months of anticipation, a brand-new season, all the hype bottled up… and we just blew our load in 11 seconds.
Then the turnovers started rolling in. Early first-half mistakes had me spiraling between “oh no, we suck again” and giving myself TED Talks on the couch about how “it’s only Week 1, breathe, we’re fine.”
But the most concerning thing? Three separate goal-line stalls. Not one, not two, but THREE drives where Indiana’s offensive line decided to cosplay as a revolving door. You tell me that happens against Michigan or Ohio State? Fine, I’ll nod and sip my beer. But ODU? That’s a red flag so big it should be hanging from the Memorial Stadium flagpole.
Now, to the positives. The running game looked absolutely legit. 309 rushing yards. Roman Hemby and Kaelon Black both hit the hole like you want to see. They both do a good job of staying behind the line then exploding through the second there’s a gap. Vision, patience, burst. That’s everything you want to see. Yes, this was against Old Dominion. But here’s the deal: if you can run the ball, you’re always in the fight.
And the defense deserves some love too. Aside from 2 broken plays, they clamped down, forced punts, and forced turnovers. They still gave up the explosive runs, but you take those two play out and the defense held old dominion to 161 yards of total offense. That’s pretty good.
Now, let’s circle back to the real game-changer: Memorial Stadium debuted a Hot Dog Gun. Some visionary in the athletic department said, “What if a t-shirt cannon could shoot glizzies?” They answered the question. We don’t need to make the playoffs every year, but give me a hot dog air mailed into my chest at 40 mph and I’ll buy season tickets.
The game was shaky at times. But in reality, it’s week 1. The Hoosiers won 27–14, the mascot stuck the landing, the hot dog cannon exists, and the run game looks like a real weapon. If you’re complaining after that, you have poopoo in your pants.
Can’t wait to get down to Memorial Stadium this fall. Bring me a W, bring me a hot dog, and let’s keep this bison flying.
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